(I made this in photoshop, and used the background image from We Lived Happily Ever After.)
I remember coming across this quote a few days after I moved, and it totally made me tear up. Your comfort zone really is a beautiful place, but you will begin to deteriorate if you stay there too long. The first few days in my apartment, I cried quite a bit, which I know I’ve written about on here already, but it applies perfectly to this quote.
My reasoning for wanting to move into my own apartment in North Hollywood so badly was because I was so determined on making my dreams a reality. I’ve been a dancer for 19 years, and professional for a year and a half… Although, I still wasn’t in industry like I needed to be. Which leads me to that saying, “It’s all about who you know” which is really so true, and I hate it. I knew if I moved to where I needed to be, then I could begin to immerse myself correctly, which was difficult to do when I was living in Orange County. The traffic from Orange County to LA is a nightmare, and you have to time it perfectly in order to beat the traffic… but that’s a very small window. The distance between the two county’s are not far at all, but the traffic makes it far. The fact that I would miss out on an opportunity/potential job because I knew the traffic would not allow me to get there in time made me extremely angry. Along with not even wanting to drive out there to take a class so I could continue to train because I didn’t want to deal with the traffic.
But aside from all of that…. During that first week in my apartment, my mom and I constantly spoke to each other on the phone, and we would cry at the first ‘hello’ every time. I didn’t know why I was so emotional, but Cody brought up a good point. When he moved into his college dorms for the first time, he had a bunch of other people experiencing the same thing with him, where as I didn’t. I was kind of just in this apartment complex by myself. lol. But back to my mom and I… I would tell her that I was sad, missed home, missed my dogs, missed going across the street to my neighbors to eat a second dinner, missed my room, and all of the above. She then told me how much her and my dad missed me, (keep in mind I’m an only child.) said that I could move back home whenever I wanted, and that I could end my lease at anytime. As much as I would have loved to just go back home, and return to my day-to-day routines, there was no way I could allow myself do that.
A few hours after this conversation with my mom, I had come across the quote above. I just stared at it, and my heart sunk a little bit. I’ve always had a hard time accepting change, but I’ve gotten better through the years. With things like this, it’s easy to feel like you’re making a wrong decision. There have been so many times I have asked myself why I was going into this industry, especially with the amount of rejection I have already faced, and was going to continue to face, but I know there is a reason God put this little fire that is still burning in my heart, and has been since I was 3 years old.
Eventually, your comfort zone won’t fulfill any of your needs anymore, and the first step to getting to where you need to go, is by simply stepping out.