I know this is a fashion blog, but I occasionally write life related posts, and today, I can’t help but do just that. Yesterday, I had to say goodbye to my first dog, Honey, as she needed to be put down. She was two months shy of her 15th birthday, so she was technically in the hundreds, if we’re counting in dog years. Honey was like the family dog, because I also have Meela, who is my dog, but I grew up with Honey. When I was 9 years old, I asked my parents if we could get a dog, and they said we could go look at them, because the only animal we had before was a cat… But I was allergic. So we went to a pet store at the mall, (yes, the dogs that come from puppy mills, but we didn’t know any better) and I walked right up to a pomeranian I saw in the window. I looked at her and told my parents she was the one I wanted. We went into a room so I could hold her, and I stared at my parents with puppy eyes begging to take her home. And we did. As my dad always says, when Honey came home with us, it was like her winning the lottery. Honey lived a great life, and lived like a human. We didn’t know much about dogs when we got her, so I started to secretly feed Honey people food when my parents weren’t looking, and she loved it. Then my parents found out when Honey began begging for food every time she would smell it, and that’s when I got in trouble, because everyday after that, Honey would bark and bark until we would give her whatever it was that we were eating. She would still eat her dog food, but boy did she love her french fries, hot dogs, steak, eggs, etc. Then she would usually lay on the couch with my dad to watch TV, and later go sleep in either my bed or my parents bed. We tried the kennel, but it obviously didn’t last very long.

Honey was the world’s friendliest and happiest dog there ever was. She always had this little smile on her face, and she loved every single person that walked through the front door, even if it was someone she had never met. She would walk right up to them and either lick their hand or jump up, in hopes that they would pick her up. Three years ago, I started to think about the day we would have to say goodbye to Honey, and I cried. I couldn’t think about not having a dog. So that’s when I got the idea to get Meela. I figured if there was another dog around when it was time for Honey to go, then having a dog still around would help a great deal. (And let me tell you, it has.) I had that reasoning, and also because when I moved out, I knew I wanted to have a dog with me, and I knew I couldn’t take Honey, because she was my parent’s dog, too. So we got Meela.

But anyway, Honey’s kidney’s were shutting down, and this past week, she stopped begging for food, which is when we were sure it was almost her time to go. She had lost her hearing about a year ago, and her eye sight was almost completely gone, as well. I could sit right in front of her, and she would have no idea I was there. We even had to put doggy diapers on her because she couldn’t control her bladder anymore for the last month. My mom called me on Sunday, crying, telling me she didn’t know what they were going to do because Honey wasn’t eating anymore. (The vet had told us that once she stopped eating, then that’s when we would know it was time.) So we knew it was time, and I came home for the day yesterday. We took Honey to the vet to be put down so she wouldn’t have to suffer any longer, and having our last moments with her before they took her was the most heartbreaking 10 minutes. My mom cried, my dad cried, I cried, and we were all one big mess.

I know it seems like I’ve written a novel when it’s only a dog, but Honey was literally a family member. And she was all that my parents had left with them in the house when I moved out because I’m an only child. It breaks my heart to think that she is gone, and when I come home, I won’t see her laying under her favorite spot in the house, under the piano. Leaving to come back to my apartment yesterday, I decided to leave Meela with them, since I will be back in a few days. I knew the second I walked out of the door, they would loose it if it was just them two. And they needed a dog to sleep with them, to fill that void for a bit.

Again, I’m sorry for writing so much, this is more so for me to just let my feelings out.

Honey and Meela’s last picture together.