One year ago today, I DM’d Daniel after he showed up in my dream... he said he wanted to get together and catch up, (see DM,) and then stopped responding to me and left me on READ (rude.) Now here we are a year later, engaged. What is life. - This was the short caption version I shared on my instagram, but to get a little more into detail.... here you go:
On Easter of 2019, I was walking out of church, and Daniel called out my name. (He was the audio engineer there. It's a big church and I had NO idea he was working there at the time, when I've been going to this church for years lol.) I hadn't seen him in TEN YEARS, so I was super caught off guard and was like wtf??? We have a brief two minute conversation, and that was it. Then Christmas Eve of 2019. I'm walking out of church, figured Daniel would be where he was last time, where all the tech stuff is, so I look over to that area as I'm walking out, we smile to each other and wave. I remember getting into the car and telling my best friend, Austin, that I thought Daniel was SO hot. After that, I didn't really give the situation another thought. A few days went by, and on the morning of December 28th, I woke up from a dream where Daniel was in it, and SOMETHING in me was like... ok why do I feel like something is supposed to happen between us? Most of the day, I thought about DMing him, but also kept telling myself not to. - I didn't have his number anymore, because two years before this, I had like way too many numbers in my phone in general from customers/work, and was running low on space on my phone... so I went through and started deleting numbers of people from high school, and Daniel was one of them lollll. At that time, we were also both unavailable, so that was another reason why I was like, "not like I need his number!" - Around 7pm on the 28th, I finally said what the hell, drafted up a DM, and sent it.
Obviously his response made me hopeful, as he sounded interested... and then he left me on READ, for a week. Literally every morning, I'd wake up and check my DM's to see if he had responded, lol. So I clearly sent him another DM, because I'm a persistent bitch, and after 11 days from his first response, he finally responded again... I know 11 days does not sound long at all, but it felt like a damn month, I swear, lol. Now this is where it gets embarrassing. After I respond to him, he leaves me on read again.... so the next day, I send him another DM... he leaves me on read... (that was the 9th,) and then on January 23rd, I send him ANOTHER fucking DM that he again, reads and does not respond to. But you guys... like I said earlier, something in me felt like something was supposed to happen between us, so I stayed hopeful. In ANY other situation, I legit would've been like k bye, but I couldn't in this situation... and just when you thought I couldn't get any more cringy, I do:
On February 4th, I go out for a drink with my friend Kira in West Hollywood... She knew of my original DM exchanges with Daniel, so I was talking her ear off even more about it, lol, and I literally got to the point where I asked her what she thought of the idea of me DMing Daniel's sister. YES, his sister. Caitlin is one of Daniel's older sisters who is two years older than us. We all 3 went to high school together, and Caitlin and I had always followed each other on Instagram, laughed at each others stories, etc... Again, I still felt that Daniel was interested, but SOMETHING was pulling him the other way, and I obviously didn't know why. Kira hypes me up, we're on like... glass number 3 of wine so I typed up a DM to Caitlin, just flat out being like YO, your brother basically said he wanted to catch up, and now he's not responding to me. I also prefaced that I was on the verge of drunk lol. Caitlin was super excited about it, she did say, "I'm SO fucking stoked," and seriously, thanks to Caitlin, Daniel responded the next day and he asked me to go to a show in LA with him that would be on February 17th. And from there, I did not contact him unless he did, and I kept everything very brief, lol. Anyway... our date started at 6:30 at a bar before the show, where we caught up on literally the past 10 years of life since we had last actually spent any time together. And our date ended at 4:30 in the morning *upside down happy face.* Needless to say, we both had a great time, and have spent every single day together SINCE THEN. No joke. Not a day apart.
Hayley asked me if I would like to share my point of view and at this point I can confidently defer between an actual question and a suggestion.
As she mentioned we saw one another at church on Christmas Eve, we had seen each other for special events prior to that like Easter or Mothers Day and I have vivid memories of always trying to seek her out. I have a bit of an elevated view in the Tech booth and I remember scanning the room for her blonde hair, waiting for her to walk by when service ended and anxiously shouting out “Hayley!” to try and say hi/bye before she left. Easter of ‘19 she came back to the booth and told me her Dad wanted to shake my hand (I would later find out how important that is to Sir Jimbo lol) Christmas Eve was brief but that spark was always there.
Shortly after that I was very surprised to receive a DM from her, definitely was not something I was anticipating. Unfortunately for both of us at that time I was FAR from having the confidence to think that I could ever have a shot with Hayley, the one who was always out of reach, the one that got away. Personally I was in a pretty dark place at that moment in time, my life centered mostly around work and isolation and I wasn’t able to really entertain the thought that she could actually be interested in me.
Hayley’s persistence changed literally everything for me, she continued to reach out, I continued to ignore her lol but after that second (or third or 4th) DM and her continued interest, I decided to recognize what was in front of me and get my shit together. Truly it was only after Hayley reached out to my sister that the reality hit that it was real, Caitlin pulled me aside one day and said “Dude why the FUCK aren’t you answering Hayley?! Stop being an asshole!” That was the wake up call that I really needed.
The nerves didn’t cease but I finally responded. I needed a veil of confidence, something to fake my way through not having any idea what I was doing. So I casually told her that I had two tickets to a show coming up in L.A. and told her I’d be happy if she joined me. The reality of the situation being I was desperately looking for tickets or something for us to go do and bought those tickets for the sole reason of asking her out. Though, it was Digable Planets, which was also a total bucket list show for me. That allowed me to tell myself “well even if it's a total train wreck at least there will be a good show”. That ended up being the furthest thing from how our night went. We got drinks before, met there at 6:30, I got there fifteen minutes early so that she’d have a glass of champagne waiting for her when she arrived. I was beyond nervous and basically losing my mind all day, questioning myself and trying to avoid the overwhelming insecurity that was telling me to run.
The moment that she walked in all of that washed away, I was completely stunned by her beauty, and the conversation flowed so naturally. We talked about how neither one of us wanted to be married or have kids lol now we’re engaged and the baby fever is real af. I didn’t want the conversation to end, I loved her laugh, her realness, her confidence. The doors to the show opened at 7:30 and we didn’t leave the bar until 8:30, on our walk to the show we were already holding hands, I was absolutely gleaming inside. Once we got in I got us a VIP table upstairs because I did not want her to have to deal with being squished in the crowd and really I just wanted more time and space with just her. We danced, laughed, drank, she’ll tell the ending differently but I swear we walked out of The Regent (early) and she says “soo, do you want to come over to my place? Clearly I accepted, I didn't leave her apartment until 4:30 in the morning and the rest is history. Madly in love and ready to spend the rest of my life with her, I never knew this level of happiness and fulfilment could exist until that day.